A week's worth of groceries. Family of 4. $100.

1:27 PM

Today I did something I haven't done in a LONG time. I grocery shopped by myself. It was a glorious and therapeutic 40 minutes as I pranced down the aisles repeating to myself "Don't forget Asian dressing. Don't forget Asian dressing."

So being that there were no outside influences (aside from the fact that I live with three mega-picky goobers) I am here to show you what I bought for your review and judgment. (Other outside influences include: time, money, selection, North American norms, prep time, I get anxiety about asking people to shuffle over for me to grab something off a shelf, and, I didn't want raw meat touching my Kate Spade purse.)

This food will feed the 4 of us for the week. Keep in mind, I had tons of stuff at home when I got this. These things include: a dozen eggs, more cheese than I could ever eat, a loaf of whole wheat bread, some country butter, 2L of almond milk, tons of fruit, cucumbers, bell peppers, onions, garlic, ginger, all the oil/vinegar/herbs/spices you could ever need, rice, protein powder, hot sauce... you know, the important stuff. And whatever the garden will produce (radishes, chives, cherry tomatoes, strawberries, rhubarb, kale, lettuce).

First, let's get the boring non-food stuff out of the way: paper towel. For those times that your kid's elbow becomes a magnet to every glass of water you set on the table. I feel like I'm living in that Shymalan film about aliens - "swing Merill swing".

Next, from the left we have multigrain wasa, Asian dressing (see, I remembered), an entire ocean of canned tuna, British style beans and cornstarch.

In the towering pile next we have my ramen noodle addiction...

Okay, let's take a moment for a ranty aside. The other day I was trying to think of what my friends and family might put on my tombstone. Like: Here lies Amy Harrison, she sucked at sports but was great at push ups. RIP Amy Harrison, never watched a full movie in her life. Amy: she hated racism so much. Or would it be something like, Damn that girl ate a lot of ramen? I don't know. Probably the last one.

Back to the groceries. Moving toward the front we have a container of premade quinoa salad. This is speaks to my laziness and career success. Then a package of boneless chicken thighs. We'll use these for cold noodle salad as well as chicken pitas. Yes I sanitized my floor after taking this.

Next is natural peanut butter and dill pickles. In case a pregnant woman comes over?

Most embarrassing items next: the "soft baked banana cookies" and "soft baked chocolate cookies" to put in Oliver's lunch. Relax.

Next is whole wheat pitas. When I was selecting these I happened to be on the phone with my mom and was struggling to find any that weren't white. I finally yelled out "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL, ARE THEY ALL WHITE HERE?!" and a number of people side eyed me.

Two types of yogurt. For the adults, extra-fibre Activia and for the kids, raspberry Iogo drinks.

Then there's an ambiguous pile of fruit and veg which includes carrots, apples, nectarines and bananas. I honestly can't be bothered to haul a ton of produce home from the store when we have so much to harvest right now.

And quite finally, the impossible collection of beverages. There was a sale on a new product Extra Protein Soy Milk. Not a huge fan of soy but was too curious to pass it up. If I totally hate it we'll make some other plant based milk from scratch. A package of powerade for Calvin's baseball games. A package of stevia-sweetened cherry soda. A large "owwange dooce" for Dakota (to spill on the floor). And a cold-pressed kale/orange/apple/cucumber/mint/swiss chard/ginger juice for me because I have a Pavlovian need to recieve a 'treat' everytime I go shopping - thanks Mom.

Thank you my dear readers for your time and please feel free to pass any and all judgment on me in the comments below. My skin is thick and my desire for your feedback is above average.

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