On Why I'm Not a SAHM

3:23 PM

I've written on this topic before. In fact, I've even youtubed on it. (Ugh, I'm having an internal battle on whether it should be "youtubed" or "youtubbed", but perhaps "recorded a video on Youtube" would be the most correct.)

Here are the facts, in order.

I have two children. (Age two, age four.)

I have a full time job.

This can tick a lot of people off.

In fact, recently my husband - while explaining how excited he was about my promotion - had someone ask him "Doesn't she realize her first priority should be her husband and children?" Real life, folks. (PS His answer was: it is. And so is mine. And we both work and we both love our family. End of story.)

To be honest, I think opinions on all sides are fair. You are allowed to think that children are best raised at home, full-time, with a family member. But for goodness sake, can we please remember that family member doesn't equal mom? Perhaps Dad stays home with the kids. Maybe Grandpa or Grandma do. As I look at my calendar and remind myself it's 2016 let's all collectively agree on the fact that the raising of the littles is not just a mama's job. But, okay, you think that kids should be raised by family, all the time...

I don't necessarily agree.

Another opinion, on the other side completely, is that all kids should be in day care for structure and to learn to socialize...

I don't necessarily agree either.

Like with most things in life, I think it's all personal. It's personal what method of care your children will thrive in. It's also personal what level of 'being out of the house and with other adults' you as a mother will thrive in. If the two line up - beautiful. You have found your sweet spot.

Here is why working full time works for me.

My kids have Mom, Dad, or Grandma five days a week. They get love and snuggles and dance parties and cookie baking. Then, two days a week they go to Playschool. They get love and snuggles and dance parties and cookie baking... plus, they get a handful of extra friends to play with. It's pretty cool! And guess what this arrangement affords me? Forty hours a week in my office at work doing what I love, feeling like I am contributing to something huge, feeling accomplished, getting my dose of being with adults, finding a reason to brush my hair (just kidding).

When I am at home, for days at a time, I fall into a lazy funk. I let the laundry sit around. I lay in bed until the kids absolutely force me to get up. I watch a lot of Netflix. When I spend 8 hours at work, and then click into mama-mode, I am on point. We cook together. We clean together. We read and colour and I hug them 2 million times each. We have a lovely bed time routine. I cherish every moment. When they're in bed, I get the necessaries (laundry, whatever) done in record time. I actually do my work out. I feel good. And then I do it all over again.

Working Amy is a vast improvement from Stay at Home Amy.

And all the same, the stay at home version of YOU might be worlds better than the work-you. Only you can know.

Best case scenario is we all make our choice, and then we make the even more important choice to support each other even if we do different things. Working mamas - I feel ya! Let me know how my experience can help you. SAHMs - well done. You do something I suck at. I tip my hat to you. That's the message: be the sisterhood we're supposed to be.


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